‘That is my personal time’: Employee tells coworker she can’t stay late, gets caught having a solo picnic

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    Jeans - "AITA for telling my coworker that my solo picnic is as important as her daughter's recital?"
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    Font - AITA for telling my coworker that my solo picnic is as important as her daughter's recital? I(29F) started working at a new company 8 months ago. I was head hunter specifically for the role I have, which gave me enough power to negotiate my contract like I wanted. One of the things I managed to get was a clause that prohibited my employer from contacting me outside work hours.
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    Font - If it is a true emergency, then they can send me an email. Otherwise they can't even send me a text. Furthermore, I have a separate work phone that I shut down at 5 on the dot, then turn on at 9am. Another thing is that I don't work OT. I am very efficient, so my work is done by 3pm, 5pm if we have an emergency. I also take my whole lunch break outside the office, and my coffee breaks away from my desk.
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    Font - My coworkers are not the same, they tend to socialize during work hour, and have work left for afterwards. They sometimes ask me to "help", but I always decline by saying that I have plans. I don't go into details, I just say that I have plans. These plans are 99% of the time just include going home, reading books, or sleeping. But that is my personal time.
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    Font - Monday, a coworker asked me if I could stay a bit later to help her out, apparently she was late with some essential work, but had to be done by that night, because she had to attend her daughter's recital at 6. I said that I was sorry, but that I had plans. It was a nice day, so instead of going home, I just went to a parc to read while breathing some fresh air. Brought some fruit and bubble tea, and made a picnic out of it.
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    Font - My coworker found me there, and she was pissed. She said that I could have helped her if I didn't have plans, I said that I do have plans, this impromptu picnic. She said that it wasn't as important as her daughter's recital. So I said that for me, it was even more important than her daughter's recital. She called me an AH, and some of my friends agree. So AITA?
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    Font - Major_Barnacle_2212. 4 hr. ago I mean...you're living 10000% in the black and white definition of your job responsibilities. If you're asking if you are wrong for refusing to change your boundaries, you're NTA. If you're asking if I would like working with you - also probably no, but I don't think that will keep you up at night. 6.5k Reply Share
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    Font - Flashy-Menu-5587 OP. 4 hr. ago Here's the thing, I never ask anyone else to help me with my work load, if I have an urgent appointment and am oit of PTO, I just take unpaid leave. I don't do anyone any favors (since I don't like to work more than the minimum I can), but I never expect favors from anyone too. 1.3k Reply Share
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    Font - UsefulAccident3031 4 hr. ago One day that could very easily change. Very bold to assume you'll never need help from your coworkers. 2.6k Reply
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    Font - Flashy-Menu-5587 OP. 4 hr. ago Then I will just struggle by myself. I do not want to spend more of my life in work than I already do, especially not if the person asking for help created the problem for themselves. 520 Reply Share
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    Font - Pure_Cantaloupe6872 4 hr. ago In the sense that it is your personal time, and you owe it to no one NTA. In the sense that if you were my coworker and this happened, I would never go out of my way to assist you with anything. 1.7k Reply Share
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    Font - UsefulAccident3031 4 hr. ago NTA. However, one day you might need help and your coworkers will remember how inflexible you were. You obviously have every right to reject helping out your coworkers, but just remember that when you inevitably need help and everyone else has "plans." There's consequences to the work lifestyle you detailed, as long as you're okay with that, godspeed. This is one of those "technically you're not an hole but you're basically asking for everyone to hate you" sit
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    Font - Rude_Independence_14. 4 hr. ago NTA but definitely a terrible coworker. ↑ 870 Reply Share
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    Font - Samael13 4 hr. ago . Slight YTA - This is a case where you're absolutely within your rights to do what you did, but it's kind of an AH way of doing it, and it would make you a miserable person to work with. The way you responded is pretty unempathetic. Sure, her daughter's recital isn't important to you, but it doesn't take a huge amount of empathy to understand that's important to her.
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    Font - Your picnic is not time sensitive, her child's recital is. You don't owe her your time or work, but you also didn't have to be a about it, either. "My eating fruit in the park is more important than your daughter's recital." No, it's not. You care about it more. (Also, slightly pedantic, but, if the picnic was impromptu, then you didn't have plans. That's literally what impromptu means: unplanned.) 761 Reply Share
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    Font - . hardcandy8923 · 4 hr. ago NAH. It's great that you're so efficient and that you're ruthless about enforcing boundaries when it comes to your work. I can totally respect that. Would I want you as a coworker though? Hmmm. On one hand it will teach her not to rely on anyone but herself, on the other hand that kind of behavior doesn't exactly foster a strong team. I guess you'd know whether it will matter in the long run. ↑ 307 Reply Share
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    Font - ARE sumaCamus 4 hr. ago NTA- you're well within your rights to utilize your leisure time how you see fit, free from the comparative judgement of your coworkers. Zero obligation to justify what you do with your own time. Your coworker is mad at the wrong person- idk the nature of the work, but if the team needs support I assume a manager or other staffing personnel would be in charge of sourcing that support. 207 Reply Share
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    Font - Flashy-Menu-5587 OP. 4 hr. ago We are jot even a team, she has her work and I have mine, she asked me for help because I can do what she does, not because we are part of the same team. 184 Reply Share
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    Font - RandomGuy_814 hr. ago Nta for having boundaries Soft yta for your way of dealing with interpersonal interactions. Seems you take work life sep very rigid and strictly which is fine if you can. You also sound like youre on the spectrum so take that into account if you could be more congenial to fit into societal norms or not 195 Reply Share

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